It could be as simple as a hand-picked flower from the garden or getting them a cute keychain from a favorite travel destination. Win extra Brownie points with a 'just because' gift. Gifts: They will remember the special occasions, so make sure to mark it on the calendar and honor the day and your partner with a thoughtful gift.Those little acts add up and can make all of the difference. Display vigilance by anticipating how you could make their life easier.

Don't always make it about chores-people have different interpretations of what this love language means to them, so ask them directly what they need.

Acts of service: Go above and beyond with your actions to show your love.

It could be as simple as going for a walk together outside (an exciting pandemic activity) and having a good in-depth conversation about your day. Quality time: Carve out intentional space in your schedule for time together.Try not to engage in nonconstructive criticism-words have an impact and leave a lasting impression. When you notice the good things, say it and say it often. Err on the side of positivity, and communications will flourish. Words of affirmation: Words mean everything, so choose them wisely.For more info on the book, visit or purchase the book here. Considering the book’s everlasting popularity (it’s sold more than 20 million copies around the world!), it’s safe to say Chapman was on to something. The theory is that all of us have a primary love language, and if we understand both our language as well as our beloved’s, the ways we receive and express love will have the best shot of actually resonating. In fact, as a 2019 article in The Atlantic put it, “The idea that there are five distinct ‘love languages’ may be as familiar to some people today as the idea that there are seven continents, four seasons, or three Stooges.” The book quickly became a mega-best seller and has spent the last 30 years on and off the best-seller list. (For the un-initiated, these “love languages” are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.) One would say, “I feel like he/she doesn’t love me” and the other would say, “I try to show him/her I love her-I don’t know what else to do.”Ĭhapman went through a dozen years of notes he’d made while counseling couples and a theme emerged: When people complained about not feeling loved, their reasons fell into five categories-ones he’d ultimately call “love languages” in his 1992 book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

During his early years of marriage counseling, Gary Chapman, PhD, started noticing that couples were missing each other when it came to how they expressed love.

The heart of the five love languages